Another Year… Another Birthday

JUNE 2016 NEWCASTLE MIRAGE

1

We all know who the parties are really for when you are one years old. The jumping castle, the face painting, the sword fighting, the car racing, the Hungry Caterpillar cake from Hello Naomi and the adult’s only fruit juice…. Mumma and Pappa I’m looking at you. The birthday little one is too young to even talk and therefore won’t have a wide network of Facebook friends so who else better to fill the party but with “Aunty” this and “Uncle” that.

5

Do I even need to state the obvious for this one? The pinnacle of every child's 5th birthday party takes place in the dark chilled ice lair that is King Street McDonalds cool room. Skilfully running past the chip fryer, carefully planning ahead and wearing long sleeves so as to not get third degree burns from the backsplash of an imminent chip drop and then passing by the greasy underage burger flippers, Ronald McDonald leads you to what seems like the happiest of all places to pick out the best cake you’ve ever laid your eyes on… The McDonalds Ice-Cream Cake. No cake in life will ever live up to the memories you made in KSM… ever.

18

In a few months time the HSC will be over and there’ll be that glorious several month gap between full on pain staking study and lets face it, study once again. Having that fake ID in your wallet for the past two years has kinda taken the novelty out of turning 18 but your parents sure as hell don't know that and you won't say no to them throwing you an all expenses paid birthday bash with enough Pineapple Cruisers and Double Blacks to last for a maximum of thirty minutes. You want to go somewhere where you can cover lots of ground quickly and where better to achieve that then by doing the Darby Street Trifecta.. Shots at Soho followed by cocktails at the Del, to end up dancing the night away at Finnegans. Loose.

21

You’re 21 and you’re starting to feel the 20 something crunch come on. You don't quite fit into the 12 year old looking, 18 year old scene anymore but aren't quite ready to settle into the Chesterfield sofa filled cocktail bars scattered along Hunter Street. You're thinking that the good times are going to start coming to an end but little do you know about life and reality at 21. Your best friend was banned from the Argyle House the previous weekend for sneaking into Dillon Francis’s change room hoping to tick another DJ off her list, so King Street it is as you always look on fleek in the photos from the bed booth.

30

You’ve got the cash, you’ve got the career but by the time you finally get around to 30 you want to live every last minute of your twenties like you’re 18 again. It starts out sophisticated enough at the Koutetsu, having a few dirty martinis and going outside to smoke a 1966 Cohiba cigar, but you know where you’ll ultimately end up, in the queue for the Argyle House.. where you thank god that they have removed the ID age on the entry screen.